It astounds me even to this day that after so many years of packing for camp I still find it difficult to pack up and go home.  I mean seriously I have been packing up my duffles every year for the past 11 years, why should this be so difficult to do?  All year I have been going to different places for the weekend and never fail to be able to fit everything that I need into my little backpack, an yet here we are in a week I will be flying home and can't seem to figure out a way to fit all my junk into my duffle bags.

My biggest fear when ever its time to pack up and fly is that I will get to the check in counter at the air port and see those red numbers on the counter light up only to tell me that something from my bag will not be joining me on my way home.  For the past week I have spent everyday looking at the closet and playing almost like a middle school gym class picking who will stay and who will go.  But alas I have reached the point where all the things that I love most and want to come with me are still in the closet waiting to be packed, and keep looking at all those clothes wondering will I have the space and weight capacity to bring them all home.

Airlines have made it so difficult to travel for extended periods of time.  Last year we were able to bring 2 bags on the plane each weighing 50Lbs (23KG) and this year I am allowed a single bag weighing 50Lbs. I will be away from everything that isn't coming with me for 2.5 months.  This is a very long time and to know that I can only bring X amount of tops and bottoms and shoes, is stressful!  I have narrowed it down to the essentials but I'm sure that I'm going to have to take these essentials and break them down to their barebones.

I think the most surprising thing is when you actually realize how much stuff you own.  When you sit in your house or apartment or where-ever; everything is put away nicely on the shelves or in the closets, but when you have to pack up and move suddenly you are like "where did all this junk just come from??" There is also a sense of emptiness when you pack up everything and still have a few days till you leave. Right now everything has been packed up and I'm still in this apartment for the next few days and there is just a whole there when you look at the blank walls and think I may never come back here.

At times I'm glad to be moving on with my life, but then at the same time I feel like I would like to have a little more stability in my life, it would just be nice to not have to pack up and leave every year.  Maybe one year this won't happen anymore and all my clothes will have a home and packing will only be for a few days here and there. Until then I'll be packing.