Standing Still

I have recently been feeling like things have not really been moving in my life. Whether its me not trying to move things forward or just things in my life are not moving themselves. Could be just the exams getting the way so I don't have a set schedule to stick to and the days just seem to melt.  At times I just feel lonely and when this happens I just turn to online TV shows (oh the life of a communications student).  Recently I have returned to an old favorite that I missed a whole season of but don't feel like watching the old one because they do not have anything to do with each other.   Yes it is a reality show and while I'm very much against them due to the fact that there is not so much directing or acting or story line involved in them I am still able to enjoy one here or there no?

But that is off topic. The point is that I feel like I should be trying to fix the things in my life that I am meant to fix but some how keep finding myself digging deeper and deeper into this hole. I used to be such a friendly and out going child what ever happened to her?  Perhaps this is where the journey is meant to start. I have to find her again and persuade her to come back and help me dig out.  I know that I cannot expect the change to happen over night and that this is going to be a very long road. But I'm here to stick it out for the long haul and here we go, perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Here we go again

It seems that every time I blink someone is getting engaged. Now its not that I'm not happy for these people it just seems that there are many people who are just rushing into this.  The more I think about it the more this seems to side with the whole rise in divorce rates, how many people have rushed into a decision like say buying a dress only to realize when they get home that it doesn't fit well or look flattering.  In the end they just end up returning it to the store.  We currently live in a very "chad pa'ami" world (once time use).  Everything that we buy is made for a single of limited amount of uses, and it seems that this attitude has been applied to the concept of marriage.

The other night I was out with my boyfriend and it is a little scary to think that in the time that we have been going out there are couples that have met, gotten married and divorced.  It is even scarier to think that we know of such a couple. So what are we meant to do?  How does one change their frame of mind to not want to rush into such a big decision?  A major factor in these decisions it seems is the media.  I'm not talking about newspapers and reality TV we're talking about movies and TV shows like Gossip Girl.  All these shows promote these rash decisions, they tell viewers that you are meant to marry the hottest guy that you come in contact with, and that if god forbid things are not perfect like in the shows then you always have the option of divorce.

Have you ever noticed that in Disney movies they never show you what happens after "happily ever after"?  Every one of the movies stops at the wedding, they don't show you if Snow White and Prince Charming fight or have money problems.  They get married and this makes life okay.  But is this really true? Obviously not.  Little girls are growing up on these stories and these ideas are getting more and more ingrained into their minds that it seems we have reached an impasse.

I don't have an answer for how we can fix this problem.  Maybe the mind set just has to change. Now I just sound like a hypocrite because I have other, bigger fish to fry in my own life. So for now I think we can leave this as is, I'm going to have to get back to work on myself before I can change the world.

Not Fair

I know that we shouldn't be jealous of other people but sometimes it can be really difficult. There seems to always be someone there to one up you or have the thing that you want.  Personally the worst are those people that just seem to always get what they want with out having to work for it.

Whenever I write posts like this I always feel like I'm just coming off as complaining.  But I'm sure that I am not the only one who feels this way.  I am currently studying in a university with some very privileged students, and have heard some pretty ridiculous stuff. Recently there have been a series of "Sh*t ... says" going around on youtube but some of these don't compare with the things that I have heard.  We are in exams now and there was an email sent out with a list of about four student ID numbers of students who had missed too many classes to take an exam.  In the exam following this one a girl made a comment saying "I can't believe no one got exempt from this exam like the last one!" Her friend asked what she meant and when she referenced the email my jaw hit the ground and said, "They weren't exempt, they FAILED the course!" She had no clue that's what it meant!

Earlier in the semester I remember over hearing two girls talking about the tuition for the school.  Now I know that for American standards this is a fairly cheap tuition, but one said to the other, "Can you believe that there are students that actually have to take out loans to study here?"  Now I take a personal offense to this statement because not only can my family afford tuition here but I still had to take out a loan to study!  I'm just wondering how much of an air head can you be?

The worst are the people that can get away with things that they do, that normally I would think there should be some form of a consequence.

Example one:  Whenever we would have guest at my house one of us kids had to give up our room.  This to me seemed very standard, that if need be all three of us would end up sleeping in the same room, usually with only two beds.  Never have I been at someone's house or had guests over and have a child of the hosting house in a bed in the SAME room as the guest and have the guest sleep on an air mattress the floor. I don't mean this to over react I just feel a little jipped that's all.

Example two: What would I give to never have to worry about money.  I have recently come into contact with some interesting people, and they seem to have habits that are very foreign to me.  Growing up eating out had always been saved for special occasions, birthdays, vacations, relatives coming in etc.  But recently I have discovered a subculture of people who eat out on a regular basis.  I cannot imagine eating out and having to order let alone pay for three meals a day every day. Shouldn't one be able to provide basics for ones self? I mean honestly is it that difficult to pour a bowl of cereal?

Finally Example three: This has to do with brand names.  Now studying communications we talk a lot about branding and what it says about a person.  Brand names tend to be more expensive because you are paying for the name not always are you paying for quality. I find that with food brand doesn't really matter all that much.  Yes I'll admit that the North Face is warmer than a Columbia but when it comes to store brand noodles and brand name noodles come on!  They are exactly the same just one is a few cents cheaper.  Some may think that it is worth it to spend a little more "just this once" and get the nice stuff, but when you do this week after week month after month you end up spending tens of extra dollars just on some small superficial name on a bag you don't really need.

I'll admit that I did give in a little bit a few years ago and spent quite a bit of money on a pair of really nice brand name suede winter boots.  This was after close to half an hour of debating in the store and a phone call to my mom asking if it was worth it.  Now I have been wearing these boots for the past three winter seasons and they have not yet worn out. So there is something to say about brand names but I think that they have their place.  In the kitchen who cares what goes in, if you need it to last invest.

I could go on for much longer on this topic but this seems to be enough for now.

Should I be worried?

People make mistakes all the time. This is normal, but my question is at what point should we be worried about these mistakes or moments of forgetting.

For example a few weeks ago I was waiting for a bus, and when it pulled up I walked towards it like I was 110% sure this was my bus. Half way to the door something inside me said you're not waiting for the 380, you are waiting for the 360. So I stopped backed up and had a second of doubt about this new plan of action.  By the time I decided to check my ticket for the bus number I was really waiting for the bus pulled away, and as it turns out this has in fact been the bus I was waiting for.

Now it doesn't have to be for such important things. Think about all the times that you wake up in the morning and can't remember what day of the week it is.  Have you ever been in a rush to leave the house in the morning and run out in your slippers?  This seems to be happening more and more and I have found that the only way to keep my mind on track has been to set reminders in my phone or place sticky notes on my desk with the lists of things that I have to do for today.

Due to exams and my lack of brain focus there has been a few less posts this month than I had hoped. I am hoping to get back on track and try to post as often as I can.  I am still working on figuring out who I am and what my goals are in life, just seems to be harder when my brain has so much other stuff on it.







Put Some Clothes On!

I'm very sorry I just have to get this out of my system, it has been bothering me for a while.

Is it just me or have people stopped wearing clothes?

It doesn't matter the season the weather or place, people have just stopped wearing clothes.  I was sitting in class a few weeks ago when a girl walked in wearing a pair of short-shorts and a tank-top, then she complained that the room was cold!  Its December! Why don't you put some clothes on?  Shouldn't college students have learned by now how to dress for school?  And if you are cold don't complain just put some clothes on, there is such a simple solution!

Who ever said that leggings are pants was so wrong.  Personally I don't think that anyone looks good in them. I have gotten on pretty well in my life without seeing every aspect of every person's legs, and I think that I'll be able to get through the rest of my life without having to see them again.  I admit that I'm not a big fashion person but this is something that I know.  Yes leggings do make you look fat and they are not flattering so lets step away from them and leave them alone.

 The last straw that made me start writing this post was in a makeup class last week.  We are preparing for finals and I walk in to class and the TA (teacher's assistant) is wearing a very low V neck shirt. Fine she always wears some stuff like that, but the problem was this time she had a few too many buttons open.  Now I don't know if as a student I'm meant to tell her to close her shirt, but when she put the microphone on and it was pulling her shirt down even farther, that was beyond what I could handle. So what did I do? I picked up my phone and wrote down under blog posts ideas "Put some clothes on Please!"

Clothes were made for a reason, please keep it to yourself.  You may be comfortable with your body but not everyone is as comfortable with your body as you are.  Try to keep that in mind next time you pick up those leggings or V neck shirts.

Sorry for the rant, I hope that now it is out things will be better and my head will be clearer.