I have begun to read the book “Zen Art Of Happiness” and have decided that
since the purpose behind my starting this blog had been about self improvement,
I will be documenting my progress through this short book. While the book
itself is only about 50 pages long I know that it is going to take a good long
while to get through these pages.The first step towards solving a problem is admitting you have a problem.
The first step is always the hardest. I have been living for a few
years with a problem that has been growing. I have been keeping it deep down
and hidden and like a tumor it has grown out of control. I have become
frustrated with everything in my life, lost all motivation for anything and even
have been pushing away the one person who means the most to me. I have been
taking him for granted, every time I push him away he has been coming right
back, but recently we got into a fight that could have ended it for good.
This has forced me to take a step back. To look at what is going
on in my life and realize that it is time for me to make a change. As hard as
it was I decided that we were going to take a break, I am scared that we may not
go back to where we were or who knows in a few months things can be getting back
on track. While he may never see this, I want him to know that he is the reason
that I am taking these steps towards fixing whatever it is that is wrong with
me.
The first question that the book asks is
Would I want this to be true: “Every event that befalls me is absolutely
the best possible event that could occur.”
When I read this line, my honest answer was no I don’t want
that to be true. There are so many things that happen every day that I have
a hard time seeing the good in them. Like this morning I missed my bus to school
by 30 seconds and all I could think was how I was going to be late and if I just
left the apartment just a minute earlier I would have caught an earlier bus and
I would have made it on that one and I could have been on time to class. This
makes it difficult to see the world in a way where everything that befalls me is
the best possible even that could occur.
The next question that the book posses is:
Will I give that a chance to be true?
My honest answer here was no I don’t want it to be true.
But reading on I come to realize that it really is true. We have to learn to
retrain ourselves, to stop thinking in terms of every event that occurs
individually but as pieces of a whole part. I did miss my bus this morning but
it turns out even if I were on the earlier one I would have ended up just
sitting in the sun waiting for the bus to school that I took any way, but
because I had missed the 567 I was sitting in a bus stop shaded from the sun and
I had a minute to relax and I even got a seat on the bus.
I have to stop looking at every event that happens and right away
jumping to the conclusion that someone out there is out to get me. Maybe these
things happen for a larger reason than we can see. Maybe this fight that we are
in is just a bump in the road to where ever it is that we are going. Neither of
us can see it today and not even tomorrow but what ever happens, it is for the
best.
More Posts on Happiness:
Why its so hard to just be happy?
The difference between kindness and charity
More Posts on Happiness:
Why its so hard to just be happy?
The difference between kindness and charity